blog image

Relationship Alchemy Interview on Dating Over 40

November 01, 20222 min read

"Returning to the dating scene middle-aged and post-divorce can be terrifying for most. But Paul Aaron Travis has been on over 100 dates and counting – the experience proving to be fruitful and life-changing.

He shares with us his advice for individuals like him about letting go of expectations, authenticity vs intimacy, tracking your dates and potential partners, and finding your partner through effective questioning.

Tune in to this episode: Dating After 40 with Paul Aaron Travis.

Key points covered:

✔️ Utilize helpful tools. Paul recommends attending gatherings such as his Singles Salon, follow a blueprint like his Great Dating Reset, and use a dating log to list key details of your dates, such as:

-Last time they contacted you

-How long you’ve been dating

-Any red or green flags

✔️ Authenticity vs. Intimacy. Although interconnected, they are different.

-Authenticity is presenting who you really are to the world and how you live.

-Intimacy is being genuine within to allow others to enter your world.

He blends together as "Authintimacy" !

✔️ Do a vibration check. Consider why you’re dating in the first place. Then, don’t rush the process of meeting new people. As we are experiencing collective anxiety about the future, it’s important to choose someone who strikes the right chords.

✔️ There is power in questions. People who’ve had bad breakups and bad dates may feel cynical. But engaging in deep conversations with your dates can help change your mind. Listen to their dreams, dealbreakers, what turns them on, and what doesn’t. Don’t let your fear win over meeting your potential partner.

✔️ Practice detachment. Letting go of expectations can help you be more vulnerable and cushion the pain during rejections. Be open to whatever can happen. You may meet a new best friend or someone that can benefit from your knowledge or support."

blog author image

Paul Aaron Travis

Paul’s commitment to making dating joyful, respectful, expansive and consensual comes from extensive training in interpersonal relations — from Nonviolent Communication to the Wheel of Consent, from Landmark Education to Human Awareness International, from Body Electric to ISTA/Tantra. In his early years, Paul cofacilitated the Seattle Men’s Wisdom Council, working with hundreds of men every month. In the years since his divorce, he has dated dozens and dozens and dozens of women – mostly first dates which didn’t yield sufficient chemistry to go further. Yet this practice manifested 3 wonderful, multi-year relationships – helping him create the Authintimacy method he now teaches in The Great Dating Reset and Dating Sherpa.

Back to Blog

Also see:

The School For Love Medium articles

Coming Soon:

Ask The School For Love for Free Advice - Dating Dilemma

Ask The School For Love for Free Advice - Relationship and Romance Rupture